30-9-2011 (BBQ)

It was the first time that I made my post through my school laptop. It has been a month after I switch on this computer. When logging into the computer, I cannot stand the wallpaper. Chuan yi, lee rong are the one that I have been quarreling with them during this holiday. What could I do? Should I delete away? I was planning to delete it or change it but my hands don’t feel like doing it. Is it because that I still have those buddies feeling in them? How I wish I could turn back the time and spend those happy moments together. By looking at the other angle, I don’t feel like turn back the time. If I turn back the time, I will not get to meet chyau Jiann. Although I miss those happy moments with Lee Rong and Zheng Yang, I must remember one term. “Some important people are to help you in a certain distance of your destiny.” This was what the book have been emphasized.
I will also write about those reasons for not attending the BBQ party. I do not know whether this person that I writing about will be reading this blog content. Lukas told me not to go for the BBQ party as there was a person that I had quarreled with him before. He asked me whether I will be awkward. After his explanation, I agree with him at first. However, I cannot only look at one side of the picture. I was planning to look for Edwin for some advice but he is preparing for his A level examination. Therefore, I asked chyau jiann for some advice. I am not going to explain in details for his conversation because I do not want to defame someone. No offence. Chyau Jiann was telling me to go for the event as to give face to the leader. After thinking for 12hr today, I have an answer which is No.
To sum everything, I just want to spend my 9 years with those ppl that I was happy with. Chyau Jiann & Edwin thank you.

28-9-2011

I do have another fun day today. I just can describe my feelings for today. I just felt that it was like another brother that I can really put my faith on. At least, he was the one that I can chat with in ease. I just really wan to treasure this brotherhood.
We met at yew tee mrt station at 1pm. However, he was late. I am not blaming him because everyone will be late too. We chat, talk and even laugh in the journey to Singapore polytechnic. I accompany him to moberty to purchase a SP T-shirt. He wanted the black but it was limited so in the end, he got the white one instead. Before purchasing the shirt, we went to macdonald for our lunch.
After those "mission" that we suppose to do, we took the mrt to bugis. Actually we were planning to go to ngee Ann polytechnic to purchase their T-shirt but I do not know where to purchase the shirt in the campus. Isn't that funny? While taking the train to bugis, I saw miss jan. We talked abt some academic work but I left out Chyau jiann. Haha. I hope he don't mind.
Miss jan left at outram park, so we continue our journey to bugis. The first thing to do was to purchase KOI. My favorite of all milk tea vendors. After that, we walked around bugis junction, bugis street and iluma. After a long hour of walking, he manage to get a shirt...however, the store only have one piece. Haiz, bad luck lol... Since we did not get anything we like so we walked to orchard road. From bugis to orchard was my first time walking for so long. I am not to elaborate more on orchard part.
If ppl asked me, who do I trust the most? Edwin and Chyau jiann. Both of you gave me the life that I want, which is a happy life and laughing life. Let's be really like a brother okay.

27-9-2011

It was the best day of the month. I do have a fun moment with Jun Kiat and Gabriel last night. Out of sudden, i felt so ashamed about myself. I did not even treasure my secondary school classmates in the past. However, it is not too late to ask for forgiveness. Let get back to the point. It was the first time to meet Gabriel and jun Kiat out during midnight to have our supper. We do have a lot of fun moment together. We talked a lot of crap, eat noodles at the EAT house and even drink alcohol after eating.. I do not know whether I become socialize in the blink of time but I just felt that it is time to let go the past and treasure those people surrounding you in the present. In the past, I really hate Gabriel attitude and Jun Kiat. It is because they have been Criticizing me during my school day but now I understand what do they mean. Isn't that funny? It took me so long to understand what do they mean by that. Well, kid and gab. Thanks for giving me such a happy moment last night.

26-9-2011

The school holiday is going to end in about 2 week time. I really don't wish to go back to school because I don't wan the history to repeat itself.
I jog for 4km last night and it is the speed like the usual. I have to find a way to speed up while managing the speed. It is critical to have a good stamina before I enter into army. After the long jog, I went to the nearby 7-11 to purchase my drink to replenish my body fluid. However, I remember about one thing. Lee Rong, Zheng yang and I were in the 7-11 purchase alcoholic drink. The first time that we drink together. Zheng yang was unable to finish his bottle so we help him drink finish. We were not drunk and we even walked to the nearby basketball court to watch the ppl playing basketball. I think that was the time that we have so much fun together. It is impossible to salvage this friendship anymore. I remember what did lee rong said to me. “以后你们来我的家住一晚！” i said. "holiday bah!" lee Rong said. Well this is the holiday that they were planning to come to my house to stay. No choice. This friendship is break. Just like what Benny said to me last night. A friendship is just like a glass, once break you may fix it back but you will need some expert to melt the glass piece to fix it back like the usual. I don't have the so called expert. How am I possibly fix back this glass(friendship)?
I am leaving this to fate

No title

When I was in 14, I asked all other kings about one thing. Is it possible to make my life like other people? I remember what arcious told me that time." it was something that you have to find out. I couldnt possibly tell you the destiny that you are going!" From that day onwards, I work harder and harder, giving pressure to myself on my academic. What do you know? I mix with a lot of friends and forget about the word called study. When I grow older and older, I have more kings in my nation. I do not even know whether is this my fate to have such people talking besides my ear or am I having psychology problem.
I took up a job at the bugis OG by selling an organic drink. The sales wasn't so bad after all. It was not my style to follow other people order. I am not your dog, I don't follow orders. Therefore I quit the job. Durehon told me that there wasn't a job that could make a person happy. It was something that you have to find. That was my mood was super moody when all the kings said that it was something that I have to find.
After work, I asked them some questions. I will post this question because I wan to make it as a memory."am I ugly? Why do people have such a nice hairstyle but I don't have? Why must I waste such money to rebond my hair to get a nice hairstyle? Why do people have something that I don't have? Why must god make my fate in this way? Is there any way to make myself like them?" I asked my lords. But only one lord reply me." I do not know why god create you such a way to make you suffer. There will be always fairness when lord create people. You are not poor and your income is always so stable. Do you think that those people out there have such things? Unless they do something to change their destiny. You must understand that you are still studying. Why don't you leave the make over after your exam? Why don't you study, earn a better qualification and earn a better job to afford a better income for plastic surgery?" elfadon said and I ought to agree with his explanation.
That's all folk

21-9-2011

It was the bad day that I experience in my whole life. I did not shout in the public. Who are you to command me or say about me? Although you are my step parents, I do not bother about it. You only can command me when you are one of the ppl in the arc kingdom. I do not know whether this is a good news a not. I am back to normal again. I talk about my matter to the other kings again. It was about 5 month that we chat together again. Seriously. Just say that I am crazy but I know that they are the one who wan to decide for me. While the doctor asked me whether I should start the operation, arcious have been telling me that it was best to have the operation. Leodales just fought with him. But majority win. 6-1 votes to call me to operate. Therefore, I will go for the operation during next sept

About a new bro

I have not posted anything related to Chyau jiann. I did mention about him when I was working during the comex show which was held on 1/9 to 4/9. I just feel that he will be just like Edwin lai. We could have so much fun and topic to talk. It wasnt easy to find someone that is able to talk about your personal problem. Wow. Another brother in my list.

Siblings posting part 2

Sorry for the late post today. I am not going to post about bing xun. It is bec the period with him is short. Okay I shall post about all of my Singapore
Polytechnic friends.
What are siblings for? Why do I wan to name them as my siblings? Isn't that rubbish? Maybe all of these are nonsense anyway. After running last nite, there was a sentence that was whirling in my head. "many things cannot be forced." let begin the secret diary posting
There was nothing much in the secret diary about Singapore polytechnic friends. Therefore, all of you just find your name in the post that was made much earlier on.
Is lee Rong going to befriend with me? I don't know. I was thinking about his birthday present just now while I was thinking about Dixon, Chyau jiann, Zheng yang birthday present. I thought of something just now for lee Rong but I don't know whether he will still treat me like one siblings a not. Let the time to heal. A Jedi command "be patient". I believe in this. I will post Chyau jiann tomorrow bec there are two events that are related to him. I will elaborate more on him bec he was the newest.

Siblings part 1

I found my secret diary last night and I did not realize that it contains so much things about my sibling. There was things that I could not remember of doing it. Since I have so much time to spend for myself, I will write out what the secret diary write about my siblings. I will be writing Edwin lai, Marcus moo, Chuan Yi, Leon, Zheng yang, ang hui min, loh hui min, Zoe, lee rong, Dixon and Chyau jiann. Isnt it funny? I kept on emphasize on my blog about them. Isn't there too long-winded? Maybe I am going to write about the event that we spend together.
Let me start with Edwin lai since he was the biggest brother. I really treat him like one of my own brother. Although he was busied with his school work, he will find some time to accompany me. For example, we will go to places to play cards. We even talk about our personal life. I really hope that after his A lvl examination, we can spend more time together to have fun.
After Edwin, Marcus moo was my next brother. He was the first brother in history that I delete him and we have so much disagreement. Although we fought together, we also have so much fun together. We meet out late night to play cards, eat noodles and we even drink alcoholic drink. He was the first one who taught me how to drink alcohol and how can I face in the society. According to the diary, arcious wrote this about Marcus moo. He was a person that you should not mix around. He may provided us many fun moment and even ask us to go out to have fun, there were something that are unable to explain.
After meeting Marcus moo, I met Chuan Yi and Leon. I do not know them for a long time. I know Chuan Yi during the last day of march it show. He joked with me then after that I met Leon. He was Chuan Yi friend. Although we have so short moment to talk about our personal life, I have those brotherhood feeling. That why I name them as my bro. According to the diary, Leodales wrote that I have been doing so much things to make them think wrongly. One reason on top of it was that I was immature at that moment. For example, I kept on pestered them. After they SMS me about my problem, we seldom chat. Besides the diary, I also remember an event at bugis. I do not wan to elaborate because this was in my blog long time ago. However, they disappointed me recently. Chuan Yi called me about 11.30am on 15sept saying that her sister was sick so he have to take care of her. It is fair that he as the big bro have to take care of his sister. However, about 2pm, I saw him was being tagged by someone at macdonald. If it was her sister who tag him, he was lying that her sister was sick. I cannot blame Leon bec it was not about him. I think I should not pester them anymore. This will be the last post stating about them. I think that they do not wan to forgive me therefore they don't wan to meet us out. I should consider of deleting them as my Facebook friend, siblings. I should set them free. I have to think deeply whether I should meet them at 20sept.
I will write the last one and continue the rest later or tomorrow. Dixon Teo was a brother that I meet in secondary 4. It was a long story. I have not write anything about him before. I should write what the secret diary said before the memories about him was blur. When I was in my last year of secondary school, durehon saw Jimson that was from 4A2. Durehon told me that he may be the one who is able to help me in the future. At first, I dont understand what he mean. Then we starting to know each other through the cybernet. Dixon kept on pestered me saying that Jimson was finding me. It was a fool lol. I told myself that Dixon just like my other classmate, Marcus heng. Then one day, he talked to me whether I can teach him for his O level. I did not realize the my enemy become my friend. According to the diary, it states that I meet him at lot 1 macdonald and I taught him science. I print my two book of notes to help him out. Then he taught me to go gym and I become friends with ho zhi Jie again. I should not be writing what he told me. As brother, I should keep his secret. He was the first brother that make me realize that it was not the end of the world.
I remember that I told him about my parents. He was the first one that know about my family matter.
That's the end of part 1.

17-9-2011

I don't know why I am so I intrigued in writing blog post. Maybe I do not have anything to do during this holiday. The holiday is about to end. Am I happy? Er... I ought to say yes bec I cannot live in such timetable and environment. I have lose my trust in one of my brother. I don't mean those ppl who are staying in west. I am stating someone that it is living at the end of Singapore map. I don't understand why cant you tell me the truth. I don't mind to meet out late. Why must I ask you again then you will tell me 50% of the truth. Isn't it easier for you to say it earlier? I have totally lose my trust in you. Now, I am thinking whether I should meet you during 20sept. Maybe I would rather stay at home to prevent myself to blame you. You know that I am starting to be much sensitive after the stupid incident happened between lee rong and me. Haiz. Let bygones be bygones. I cannot hold ppl heart. Maybe I need to start a relationship so I can forget all these shit

15-9-2011

I thought it will be fun today but who know that the event is cancelled. What can I do? I cannot take a rope and tied them and bring them along. Am I jealous? I can tell you that I am super super jealous about ppl going out. I think I love the past. I am anti-social person who do not love to go out. No choice. I guess this is fate. When I was anti-social, there will not be so much anger and sadness in my life. I was born with special ppl accompany me. Yeah fairytale again. I don't care whether he got read my blog a not. I just wan to say that this was my life, not your. You are just jealous. I don't know whether it is criticizing you a not. Just shut down ur Internet browser if you don't wan to know. I am super angry right now, but I am prepared last night. The stupid right eye can you pls stop blinking. Well, kill me then. I don't wan to live either. I have no mood to care about the future anymore. I just hope that my result is excellent so I am able to migrate to other country. I am starting to lose all the friends. It is because they either betray me, criticizing me or many more... Although I just say never mind, in my heart, I was blaming you.

No title

I do not know what to post on this blog either. I am wondering how lee Rong was treating towards me. Enemy or friends or siblings. I do not know the answer. I just only hope that he could be my siblings again. However, he have not added me on Facebook. I do not even want to pester him or them. Just because of his problem, it causes chaos between bx &zy too. How impressive! Do he know that just one minor thing can cause misunderstanding between the other. To be frank, is he shame for not thinking twice between acting. I am not mend to write this post to backstab him or having small talk about him. But his action already shows me that he want to ignore me for good. I am back to the square one again. I went to lot 1 just now and I just remember what are the things that we do together. Is that funny? I know that bx was trying to help out but he do not know the roots of the problem. Haiz, I guess this brotherhood or friendship between him is over bah. Isnt that funny? Just a few months and said bye bye. I just feel that Zheng yang was better than all of them. Although I backstab him, he did not blame me. However, it was me who push him into this troubles. I don't even want to think about the friendship being salvage. I just tell myself that Zheng yang will be forever forever my truth siblings. He was a person in the blue moon. I do not know what is he thinking about or do hr still blaming me. I just hope that it will be fined. I feel like giving birthday present to lee rong. I think I will buy something and called Zheng yang to pass to him if we still cannot be brothers again. Haiz. I dont understand why either. I am so uselss. I do not care whether they wan to jio mr out a not. I just know that zy and I will be doing project, going to poly and coming back from poly for about 5 month.

A post to apologise

I wan to apologise to Ng lee rong for mistaken him and for pang seh him. Hope you will see this post.

The last day of the comex show

12 more hours and we will be splitting. There is no more such chance that we are working together. I would like to talk about a best friend, lee Rong. I did not make you less important, it is your fault. You are the one who have been ignoring me and I have been putting you in my friend category.... I have not been forgetting the happy moment that you gave us. It is you that started first. If we could be just like the past, we can be best friend again. I will wait for you to join us back. I hope that you can join us for lantern festival. We will forget those past and continue be best friend again. Hope to listen the good news then.
I will talk about Cj... We talk talk talk, make our working place less stressful ad tired. It is really worth to call him bro lol. I don't know. I have the same feeling when I was talking to Edwin lai(大哥). Well, welcome abroad. I will tell you about my life(lords) when the time is riped and the republic has given me the approval.

Doubts

I want to write begin with doubts introduction because it is something unique in blog journal. What is friendship? How about brotherhood? Which one is better? I don't even know. It is true that I must look at outside of the world because there are many people that are much more better. What can I do? I don't even have any hints in such matter. It is the third day of the show and my sales was low. I do not know why I have so high temperature when I was working at the IT SHOW. I am starting to lose faith in myself. In addition, confidences was something that was losing in the beginning of the year. Last night, all of the lords sit down together and have a good chat. They taught me to be more sensible instead of being rowdy. They told me that there was someone in my workplace is harming me. Who is that person? I don't know. Arcious told me that I have to analyze the problem by calming my mind. It is another time for spot check. Six lords will be helping out at this IT show in order to boost up the sales. Dezard told me that this person is someone that have secret power like you but he/she has the ability to control the human brains. In order to stop this, we have to create layer mind. In Other words, I have to think of something while working on my work. Leodales taught me a way to create a better layering on the mind. Arcious will be standing besides me as he said he want to see which person is having such ability. It is the first time that arcious is willing to stand at my side and help me. For all reader information, all of my lords doesn't exist on earth. They are neither human nor ghosts. They are part of my souls with different ability and character. I do not want to write about someone when I was writing about the lords conversation.

1st day comex show

I don't wan to talk about the morning incident. It is because I don't even remember what did I do.... I will talk about the happy moment during the IT show yesterday. I wa working at epicenter at second level and I was selling uniq stuff. All of them are iPad 2 casing. It was so competitive bEcause there was so many seller that sell iPad2 casing. Besides that, it is much more cheaper. Never mind, devin is around.+_+" never mind, I don't feel like elaborate on this part. Damn long winded. Someone was working on sandisk and he was a good friend of Mine now.:) damn socialize lol. I think it is my character bah. Ps I wan to have this post in singlish format So there is so many bah lol haha.... Hmm, how can I elaborate on this new friend. Well, I shall begin with the introduction of this friend. His name was Qiao Jian. Don't insult ppl names, it is rude. Summarizing. We have the same topic to talk and we can chat for about 57 min. Just a rough estimation. My first expression I thought he was a gangster. His face expression la.... But when you talk to him, he is okay. Don't tell me he is a Capricon or Aries. Sian max. Why all of my friends are Capricon and pisces or Aries. Haiz. Thats all folk. Don't feel like posting because I wan to do something before working. I will try to maintain the post in deviantart once per week. I try