Sorry for the late update. I don't know what to post recently because there is no special event that wan me to keep in mind.
This morning, my parent fought together and they are getting divorced. Do they spare a thought on how their children felt during that moment? You think we dont care about all of you. I asked my mum whether I am an orphan? She told me that I am orphan and I was picked up by my father. However, she told me that I am one of them. You can fool me by saying but you could prove it with your action. I brought my brother for a haircut and she told me that my brother is her son. Srsly, do she know how I feel at that moment? I am not her son la. It is so obvious that I am not her son, I am an orphan.
When they are divorce, I will not choose both of them. I decide to live myself because I cannot stand it. They even said this to me."when the court asked you who are you following, you just speak out from ur heart." you know what she told my brother."no matter what, I will fight you to stay with me" my mum told my brother.
Do you know that I was planning to suicide when they said this to me? However, I believe in the white and black man prophecy. They said that I am dying at the age of 27. I agree that I have bring disgrace to this family. What could I do? I don't even have any family member to support me. People said that I am having psychology problem. If I don't have arcious, dezard to whisper in my ear, standing besides me and guarding me, I would have die already. What should I do? If it wasn't arcious, do you think I can have such a wonderful life to spend with. Arcious also helped me in my academic work by giving me advice and comments. Do you think I can work alone? I have so much money also no use. I remember what the black man said. Arcious was someone that was among you. It is just the sub spirit of you. You have to treasure your life or else they will die. Is there any way to solve this problem ? I don't think so. Every midnight, I love to talk to all of you, arcious have been giving comments and advices on my life but I choose not to listen. I am always the stubborn one. I promised them that I will work harder for next term because they wan me to migrate to other country to have a better future.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
11-10-2011
Sorry for the late update for this blog. I don't know what to update this blog. There is a important event but I couldn't tell because this is the secret between us. No choice..... Thats all I have for today
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
my letter to course manager
Dear Miss Lim,
I am Devin Tan, CYOT/1A/03. I am sorry to disturb you again. After the interview, I felt that there are misunderstanding. I know that there are 3 criteria to change the course. First, it was about the vacancy. Secondly, it was the cut off point. Lastly, it was my general performance point(GPA).
I understand that DBIT do not have any vacancy for me to get into as there was a large demand of people that was planning to transfer into this course. However, I felt suspicious about something. If there isn't any vacancy for me to get into, you could have send me an electronic mail to inform me. Therefore, the interview for yesterday is meaningless and I will not put such a high hope of getting into Diploma Business IT(DBIT). Besides that, I felt insulated during the interview. I thought that this interview will be conducted in a serious condition.
I would like to explain why do i want to change to this course badly. In the first place, I want to excel in the business sector as I have much more interested in business field rather than hardware. I ought to agree that every IT classes or courses will have to touch on hardware but DBIT is mainly focusing more on promoting business. Based on my GCE 'O' level examination marks, I do not have the opportunity to get into a business school or mainly business courses. It was a shame to myself for scoring so badly and not putting in the effort to have a better marks. After all, I just want to learn more about business concepts and excel in my academic during polytechnic. To be honest, I am not joining the course because I was attracted to a girl or my previous girlfriend was studying in that course. I will not allow such behavior to affect on my academic studies because I have planned my career plan for the future. Besides that, I will not give up on things easily. I just want to learn the things that intrigued me so I can play a part of contributing to the nation in the future by putting in my fullest effort.
I understand that it is impossible to change the course now as you told me that there wasn't any people withdrawing the course and you would like to look out for my performance in my academic in the next semester. If there is a vacancy for me, I would gladly grab it and have a peace of mind to continue my studies. The main purpose of writing this letter was to convince you about my interest on this course.
Your faithfully,
Devin
I am Devin Tan, CYOT/1A/03. I am sorry to disturb you again. After the interview, I felt that there are misunderstanding. I know that there are 3 criteria to change the course. First, it was about the vacancy. Secondly, it was the cut off point. Lastly, it was my general performance point(GPA).
I understand that DBIT do not have any vacancy for me to get into as there was a large demand of people that was planning to transfer into this course. However, I felt suspicious about something. If there isn't any vacancy for me to get into, you could have send me an electronic mail to inform me. Therefore, the interview for yesterday is meaningless and I will not put such a high hope of getting into Diploma Business IT(DBIT). Besides that, I felt insulated during the interview. I thought that this interview will be conducted in a serious condition.
I would like to explain why do i want to change to this course badly. In the first place, I want to excel in the business sector as I have much more interested in business field rather than hardware. I ought to agree that every IT classes or courses will have to touch on hardware but DBIT is mainly focusing more on promoting business. Based on my GCE 'O' level examination marks, I do not have the opportunity to get into a business school or mainly business courses. It was a shame to myself for scoring so badly and not putting in the effort to have a better marks. After all, I just want to learn more about business concepts and excel in my academic during polytechnic. To be honest, I am not joining the course because I was attracted to a girl or my previous girlfriend was studying in that course. I will not allow such behavior to affect on my academic studies because I have planned my career plan for the future. Besides that, I will not give up on things easily. I just want to learn the things that intrigued me so I can play a part of contributing to the nation in the future by putting in my fullest effort.
I understand that it is impossible to change the course now as you told me that there wasn't any people withdrawing the course and you would like to look out for my performance in my academic in the next semester. If there is a vacancy for me, I would gladly grab it and have a peace of mind to continue my studies. The main purpose of writing this letter was to convince you about my interest on this course.
Your faithfully,
Devin
Monday, October 3, 2011
4-10-2011
It is another day of life,which mean I have less one day in my whole life. I am not going to talk more about what life. Won't that be a bit nonsense?
I will post about those things that happened yesterday. I have a very bad morning. The dentist said that I should start my braces in the Early, which mean I will have the mental thingy in my mouth during the early november. I do not know what is going to be like. I don't even know what is going to happened to me. Shouldn't be I think about other things? It is okay to bear with such things because I don't even have much time to spend on earth. A 27 dying man is waiting. I am getting scared and scared.
After the bad morning, I told myself that I must get happy with life so I went for rebonding on my hair. The result was incredible. I am getting my confidence back.
I will post about those things that happened yesterday. I have a very bad morning. The dentist said that I should start my braces in the Early, which mean I will have the mental thingy in my mouth during the early november. I do not know what is going to be like. I don't even know what is going to happened to me. Shouldn't be I think about other things? It is okay to bear with such things because I don't even have much time to spend on earth. A 27 dying man is waiting. I am getting scared and scared.
After the bad morning, I told myself that I must get happy with life so I went for rebonding on my hair. The result was incredible. I am getting my confidence back.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
2/10/2011
It is already October and I am unwilling to put down such feelings to start a new semester. I wondered when can we be friends again? I thought there is a phrase called "Once bitten, twice shy." However, I am not. I lost marcus moo in the beginning of the year and now, I lose Lee rong. I don't feel like going to the BBQ party because I do not want to remember anything about Lee Rong. I still do not have the courage to put down this torch. This friendship torch is still lighting. Based on the current situation, it is a stormy day and I am protecting this torch from losing it's light.
I went jogging with Yoong Kang and he told me that some friends are mend to help you to walk a certain path of your road. It is their choice, you cannot force a human mind. I do not have real family to love me, I just have to depend on myself and I will remind that my real parents are looking after me in heaven. I really hope that after this 9 years on earth, I can look at your real faces and hold onto your hands again. I promised that I will do my best to achieve the best results before meeting all of you.
Will I have the courage to face Zheng yang again? I do not know whether I have such "faces" to talk to him anymore. Can it be a reason for not going for the BBQ party? Hmm, if we are reviewing about the past, I will say Yes. But now, I just felt that it is not about him. I just have to know that he is innocent. Let bygones be bygones.
Nothing to post.....
I went jogging with Yoong Kang and he told me that some friends are mend to help you to walk a certain path of your road. It is their choice, you cannot force a human mind. I do not have real family to love me, I just have to depend on myself and I will remind that my real parents are looking after me in heaven. I really hope that after this 9 years on earth, I can look at your real faces and hold onto your hands again. I promised that I will do my best to achieve the best results before meeting all of you.
Will I have the courage to face Zheng yang again? I do not know whether I have such "faces" to talk to him anymore. Can it be a reason for not going for the BBQ party? Hmm, if we are reviewing about the past, I will say Yes. But now, I just felt that it is not about him. I just have to know that he is innocent. Let bygones be bygones.
Nothing to post.....
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