No parent love

Sorry for the late update. I don't know what to post recently because there is no special event that wan me to keep in mind.
This morning, my parent fought together and they are getting divorced. Do they spare a thought on how their children felt during that moment? You think we dont care about all of you. I asked my mum whether I am an orphan? She told me that I am orphan and I was picked up by my father. However, she told me that I am one of them. You can fool me by saying but you could prove it with your action. I brought my brother for a haircut and she told me that my brother is her son. Srsly, do she know how I feel at that moment? I am not her son la. It is so obvious that I am not her son, I am an orphan.
When they are divorce, I will not choose both of them. I decide to live myself because I cannot stand it. They even said this to me."when the court asked you who are you following, you just speak out from ur heart." you know what she told my brother."no matter what, I will fight you to stay with me" my mum told my brother.
Do you know that I was planning to suicide when they said this to me? However, I believe in the white and black man prophecy. They said that I am dying at the age of 27. I agree that I have bring disgrace to this family. What could I do? I don't even have any family member to support me. People said that I am having psychology problem. If I don't have arcious, dezard to whisper in my ear, standing besides me and guarding me, I would have die already. What should I do? If it wasn't arcious, do you think I can have such a wonderful life to spend with. Arcious also helped me in my academic work by giving me advice and comments. Do you think I can work alone? I have so much money also no use. I remember what the black man said. Arcious was someone that was among you. It is just the sub spirit of you. You have to treasure your life or else they will die. Is there any way to solve this problem ? I don't think so. Every midnight, I love to talk to all of you, arcious have been giving comments and advices on my life but I choose not to listen. I am always the stubborn one. I promised them that I will work harder for next term because they wan me to migrate to other country to have a better future.