Puzzled life

In order to live, must human give up sth in order to gain something that they wanted. I don't know the answer, I just feel that giving up something is a way for you to learn. I am going to study math again in poly. What the fcuk. But it is okay to learn it as I love math a lot. I don't know whether I should give up. Leon was telling me to follow my instinct, I am just going straight to the main point. What do I want? What am I searching for? Education? Friendship? Or my imaginary friends? If I were to say I almost commit sucide bec of my family? Will u believe? I am just stating the fact. If it wasn't my imaginary friends have been helping me or guiding me, I would have been dead by now. I told myself to live to the fullest. I wan to mix more friend and learn adapt their lifestyle. Experiences are the best learning process. All I have to say for today was to thank leon for advicing me.